The (Fake) Name Game

Now that I'm very visibly pregnant, it's pretty much the first topic of conversation with everyone I meet. Close friends, acquaintances, and perfect strangers all tend to ask variations on the following three questions:

1.) When are you due?
2.) Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
3.) Have you picked out a name yet?

The first two are easy to answer, but the third has presented me with a few problems. My standard response is "not yet!" and most people end the conversation there, but there have been a couple who try to force the issue. I know, I know, it's one of the biggest things that people talk about regarding babies, and many people are comfortable sharing their name choice ahead of time. We are not. We don't want to invite commentary on our son's name prior to his arrival because we don't want it to appear that we're asking for opinions or approval, and if I can be honest, I think we're also a bit superstitious. Once he's breathing air and not amniotic fluid, then we can announce his name with a ticker-tape parade for all I care.

So, what have we been telling the nosy but well-intentioned people who really want to discuss name possibilities with us? Fake names. Let me demonstrate:

"Do you know what you're going to name the baby?"
"Yes! We're just trying to decide between Pubert and Bort."
:::silence:::

Okay, so not everybody gets the joke. (Although I do find the occasional person who immediately gets the Simpsons reference and mentions Bort license plates!) But it tends to derail the conversation long enough to distract the questioner, and often they start suggesting their own fake names to add to our list.  Besides Pubert and Bort, we have also been experimenting with:

Kenmore
Dyson
Seiko
Agador Spartacus
Darth
Danger (as a middle name)
Spiderman

If anyone has any suggestions for additions to the fake name list, by all means let me know! I'll just be over here singing "The Name Game" to see which one sounds best: Bort Bort bo Bort banana fana fo Fort...