24 Weeks

Well, unborn child, we made it. Today you are - probably, maybe, depending on a lot of things - considered viable to live outside of my body. At least, viable enough that we would all fight for you if you decided to emerge today. But I want to make this point crystal clear:

DO NOT COME OUT NOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING OUT NOW. I DO NOT WANT TO MEET YOU FOR AT LEAST 12-14 WEEKS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

You've been holding Tae-Bo and Jazzercise classes in my belly for the past few weeks, and I think they should continue. Isn't it cozy in there? Don't you enjoy waking up every morning with a flurry of kicks when I drink a glass of orange juice? Hasn't it been fun to listen to the muffled sound of my voice as I complain about my back pain to your dad? Rumor has it you have a couple of thumbs in there with you - want to practice sucking them in peace for a few more weeks so you're totally prepped to start drinking milk from my magical boobs in the fall? You can practice your yoga moves and get a nice uninterrupted snooze whenever you like. I can be working at my desk on spreadsheets and you can just nod right off, which is awesome when you think about it, because that behavior will be frowned upon when you get older. I can even work on not sneezing so loudly that it wakes you up (sorry about that!)

Besides, if you came out right now, we would have nothing for you to wear besides this single novelty onesie that's sitting in the top drawer of what will eventually become your dresser. Your room consists of a single rolled-up carpet, a bookcase in pieces, the aforementioned dresser with the onesie in it, and a free bottle I got from the maternity store - it's not nearly as nice as the inside of my uterus, even if there tends to be less placenta on the walls. Now that we have a bit more confidence in your impending arrival, I promise we're going to start getting you stuff like a bed and a carseat. And I will read one of those parenting books I bought. So many projects! We're very excited to meet you.

JUST NOT RIGHT NOW.