Watch out! Bears!

So, as usual when I start obsessing about something, naturally I've started seeing references to IVF everywhere I go. Which is why I clicked on this article as soon as I saw it. And then I laughed.

I've long suspected that women undergoing IVF are some of the most highly motivated patients that a physician is likely to come across. By and large, people really really really want their cycles to be successful, and since IVF isn't covered by so many insurance plans, there's often a huge financial incentive as well. If your doctor told you that rising every morning to greet the sun while painting your naked body with fertility symbols had been proven in a randomized double-blind trial to aid in achieving pregnancy, you'd do it, right? Compare that to a medical specialty like Cardiology, which is a lot of "please stop eating cheese, no really, I mean it this time" with very little compliance.

But people aren't perfect, and even the best motivated patients have trouble adhering to what are actually some pretty stringent lifestyle changes. The results of this study don't surprise me, especially because so many of these behaviors are stress relievers and an IVF cycle is incredibly stressful. And the lead author's statement that because an IVF cycle is only 28 days long so she's surprised that people aren't more compliant also tells me that she might not have exactly the same perspective as an actual IVF patient: yes, it's 28 days of some really intense TTC activity, but many patients have been TTC for so long without results that it's hard to keep depriving yourself of things as though you're actually about to get pregnant. And in the earlier stages of an IVF cycle, when you know you're not knocked up but you may be within a few days... well, it's hard to find the motivation to pass up that drink. (Especially if doing so will lead to a lot of well-intentioned but hurtful comments from your companions about why you're not drinking, winkwink nudgenudge.)

Anyway, my favorite part of this article is definitely the part about not running during an IVF cycle because it makes your body think you're fleeing a BEAR. (Yes, really.) That is just sheer awesomeness, my friends. While I was running earlier today I kept trying to envision a bear behind me to see if it would make me run faster, but to no avail. (Lady Gaga does a much better job motivating me, and she probably smells better too, though I cannot speak from experience here.) I wonder if other methods of exercise provoke the same reaction: biking makes your body think you're about to be hit by an 18-wheeler! Swimming makes your body think you've been swallowed by a whale! Yoga makes your body think you're being judged by all the other people in the class who have those fancy straps they use to carry their mats!

I mean, I get it, I do. Running isn't a good idea during IVF because it jostles growing ovaries, plus it can be some damn strenuous exercise when you want your body to focus on a different project. I'm just tickled to have read an article that involved IVF and bears that didn't mention the phrase "turns women into snarling raging beasts not unlike _____." And it made me feel extra special about taking a run today, my first full day of stimulation - although I think it will be my last one for a while, thanks to the shinsplints I'm getting from the crappy gym treadmills I have to use in wintertime. By the time my legs feel better, I'm expecting my ovaries will be sore, but we'll see. I might also meet up with a bear and then where would we be???