What's great: there's a little baby growing inside me! It has arms and legs and a still-big-but-less-freakishly-large head. It looks like he or she was sleeping at first but woke up briefly during the scan to kick and punch the amniotic fluid a little bit. However, he or she still has a weird alien face that only a mother could love. (Errr....) The ultrasound tech paused on an angle that showed its facial features pretty clearly and, wow, I really hope those aren't family traits we're seeing! Perhaps someday I'll post an actual ultrasound picture, but in the meantime, you can use this as a guide:
Hello, my baby!
What's merely good: there's still a sub-chorionic hemorrhage inside my uterus. It is not on the side with the placenta, which we knew from last week, and it has not grown in size. It's actually slightly smaller than the last time it was measured, and most hemorrhages take between several days and several weeks to resolve, so this is more or less expected. There's no indication of new bleeding, and the gestational sac remains uncompromised. All good things. Except:
What's not-so-good: The doctor was going over all the positive findings listed above, and Harry and I were feeling pretty confident about things, and then she said - and I quote - "bleeding is an irritant, so we're not out of the woods yet." And that deflating sound you hear is the optimism just draining right out of the room.
She's right, of course. My obsessive searching about miscarriage rates by week in the first trimester had me obsessed with percentages and it was very gratifying to watch them drop as we passed each milestone: seeing the sac, hearing the heartbeat, etc. And then when this happened, our possibility of having a miscarriage shot right back up again, though it's probably well below the first 50% statistic I saw that scared the living daylights out of me. The analytical side of me wants to do more research on this and see what my percent risk is now that the hemorrhage is a bit smaller, I haven't had any new bleeding for a week, etc. But even if the medical literature suggests that it's 15% rather than 10%, is that going to really make a difference? Nope. Not one bit. It's not going to change the way we're managing it, and it's not going to change whether this particular baby in this particular pregnancy makes it to term. And it's also important to remember that we still have a much better chance of the baby surviving this crisis than losing it to a miscarriage. A 15% miscarriage risk is also an 85% "risk" of a healthy pregnancy. That's a way better chance than Katniss had going into the Hunger Games, y'all! So, yes, the odds really are in our favor. May it ever be so!
Oh, I can hear Effie's voice now... Love the Spaceballs reference! (I only just saw ALIEN for the first time and now that scene actually makes sense!) OK, so on to the serious stuff. I'm very glad that you've come to this realization. Statistics aren't going to help you, they will just make you crazy, and I think it's a good thing you are going to ignore them. Every person is unique and you are so right, the odds are EVER in your favor!!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to focus on the good and say, "Congrats!" :) All you can do is breathe and take each day, one at a time. xo
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing you can really do at this point rest as much as possible and eat wisely. This is how being a parent feels, sometimes all you can go is sit back and watch. I remember my daughter playing on a roundabout for the first time, watching the wizzing around and nearly falling off, it's horrid! One day I hope you are watching your little one in a playground and you will remember this time and think, baby is inside you where you can protect him or her from the world and you will wish they're back there, so you are doing what any mother should be right now, protecting, loving and growing. Good Luck.
ReplyDeleteBeth
Ultrasound Direct
Love the little alien! Staying positive for you! Hang in there! Keeping you and your little one in my thoughts and prayers.
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