Charlotte vs. the Birth Control Pill

The day after my surgery, my doctor called to recommend that I start taking the birth control pill. It made sense - endometriosis gets worse every time you ovulate, and the BCP stops you ovulating - and because of the timing of my surgery I could have started a new pack of pills immediately. Intellectually, I knew this, and I was expecting to hear this advice, so naturally my reaction was to start crying and begin making vague legal threats about how the only thing that would get me to take the pill was a court order and this is America and there's not a court in the country that will force me to take birth control blah blah blah. So, not a productive discussion.

What I should have said (and this happens to me so frequently that I was thinking of titling an entire blog post "What I Should Have Said" and then writing down all the witty, well-reasoned answers that I always think of right when I'm walking away from a conversation) is that I would prefer not to take the BCP because I find the side effects vastly outweigh the benefits. I don't want to start railing against the BCP, which many women find to be very effective. But for me, the three different types of BCPs I have tried produce a change in my mental state that I find unacceptable. I would rather experience physical pain and discomfort from recurring or worsening endometriosis than feel like I have lost myself, especially if that feeling is intended to be part of a long-term treatment. Hormones mess with my head, period. Other women might not experience this, or might not find it to be terribly problematic, but I do. And since it's my body, it's (still) my choice.

So naturally, instead of taking a low dose of convenient oral contraceptives once a day, I have chosen to stick a needle in my belly every night for ~6 weeks to administer huge amounts of hormones in the hopes of creating a pregnancy that, in turn, will send my hormone levels through the roof for months on end. But it's still a more palatable option to me than just going on BCPs and waiting until I felt "ready" to try an IVF cycle. With my tubes all screwed up, I knew that IVF was looming in my future no matter what, and I didn't see any point in waiting around in a depression for months or years until I felt up to plunging deeper into hormoneville (now with extra crying!) And if this cycle fails, which it totally might, I will need to have another conversation with my doctor explaining why I will not take BCPs while we're waiting to start another cycle. My goal if we get to that point is to avoid threatening legal action, but if it ever came to that, I have an idea about where to get a lawyer.